CARLOS STORY PT. 1
You could see the legendary California sunset as you finally drove into LA.
It took you a week to get here, but it was worth it.
It was the end of May, you had just gotten done with your first year at New York Film Academy.
You thought you were going to have a normal summer with your friends in the city.
Until one of your professors told you that he had suggested you to one of his friends at Paramount Studios for one of their summer intern positions.
and they accepted you.
You were going to be working with the directors of Glee, and Big Time Rush.
You couldn’t have been more excited.
It was a whole new experience for you, and you couldn’t wait to see what this summer was going to bring.
You found a roommate in downtown LA, your ideal location.
You drive around looking for the apartment building, getting lost along the way.
But you didn’t mind, you were just taking everything in around you.
You finally found the apartment building, you took one of your suitcases out of the trunk and starting trudging up the stairs, you finally found the right apartment and knocked on the door.
The door opens and a little blonde bombshell answers.
(roomates name is Emma)
Emma- Oh my gosh! you’re finally here!
She gives you a hug
You- Heeeey! ugh, i’m so glad to be here
She smiles and she leads you inside.
She shows you the kitchen and the bathroom, she leads you to your bedroom at the end of the hallway.
Emma- And heres your room, nothing really special but..
It didn’t have anything in it except for a queen bare mattress and a large dresser
You- no, no once i get all of my stuff in here, ahhh i’m just so excited!
Emma- Yaaay! alright, I’ll let you get settled in…
You smile and she smiles back and walks out of your room.
You sit on your bed, your exhausted but you need to get the rest of your things.
You walk down to your car and grab the rest of your stuff.
You start to put your room together, you make your bed, start putting your clothes in the closet and set up candles and pictures.
By the time you were done it was midnight, you changed and crawled into bed.
You fell asleep with a smile on your face, excited for what this summer had in store for you.
You started to open your eyes, you looked at your phone.
It was one o’clock in the afternoon.
You walked out into the kitchen
You saw a piece of paper on the counter
I have to run a few errands, so just get settled in around the place :)
You threw the note away and decided to get ready.
Your internship started tomorrow so you wanted to explore the town a little bit.
When you were finished getting ready you drove around LA, it was beautiful.
All of the palm trees, the fancy cars.
You were blasting music, just having a good time.
You couldn’t describe the feeling you had, you just knew this was a summer you’d never forget.
The sun started to set and so you decided to head back, because you were bound to get lost.
You finally make it back to the apartment.
You walk in and Emma is sitting on the couch with a guy.
Emma- Oh hey (YN) this is my boyfriend David.
David waked at you awkwardly, like he was embarrassed.
You- Nice to meet you David, uhm i’m just gonna go and get ready for tomorrow
Emma- Alright, good luck tomorrow pretty momma
You smiled at them and went into your room.
You laid on your bed, thinking about what you were going to wear tomorrow.
You had a mix of emotions, you were nervous, excited, exhausted.
You got up and looked through your clothes and picked out a black pencil skirt with a gray flowy shirt that you would tuck in, and your favorite black pumps.
You pulled out your laptop and put on your favorite movie.
You started to drift off and eventually fell asleep.
You alarm on your phone went off, you rub your eyes and got up.
You get ready and head out, you pull up to Paramount Studios.
You walk into the main building, the lady at the front desk tells you were to go.
You knock on the door and none other than Scott Fellows opens up
Scott- Oh, you must be (YN)
You- Yes sir thank you so much for giving me this opportunity
Scott- well your professor told me nothing but great things about you
Scott- Alright, so today your just going to be my shadow, just follow me, take notes than tomorrow i’ll explain what you’ll be doing the rest of the summer
You- Awesome sounds great
He walks out of his office and you follow him.
Scott- So i’m going to be on set of Big Time Rush all day, they guys are in hair and and make up right now, so i’m going to introduce you to them really quick then we have to go to set.
You could barely contain yourself at this point, you were about to meet Big Time Rush.
Scott opens a door and you see the four angels themselves.
The guys all say Hi
They were even more beautiful in person.
Scott- Hey guys, this is (YN) she’s my intern for this summer, so you know, make nice.
They start laughing
You walk over to Kendall first and shake his hand
He smiles at you
Kendall- Nice to meet you (YN)
You than walk over to Logan, while shaking his hand he pulls up your hand and kisses it.
He said in a low, sexy voice.
James- It’s nice to meet you beautiful.
Your knees felt like they were going to give out.
You than walk over to James
James- Sorry about him, it’s nice to meet you
His smile brightens the whole room.
You than walk over to Carlos, he stands up and shakes your hand, he stares directly into your eyes.
Carlos- It’s nice to meet you
He holds your hand longer than the other guys did, you felt like melting into him.
Kendall- Alright Carlos, you can let go now
The guys start laughing and you let go of his hand, he smiles and sits back down.
Scott- alright before Carlos proposes, let me show you the rest of the studio.
You say bye to the boys and follow Scott out of the door.
As your closing it you can hear James say
James- well, this summer is going to be interesting.
CARLOS STORY PT. 2
It’s been a couple days since your first day.
You’ve just been running around doing favors for Scott.
Today was the first day you were going to be able to watch the guys film.
You were really excited to be able to see how it all works, right in front of you.
You met Scott at his office with his Starbucks with your pen and notebook in hand.
Scott- Alright let’s walk.
You followed him to the set
Scott- I just want you to observe, take notes, ask questions.. it’s a pretty cool process and you’ll have a lot of fun
You- Thank you, i’m really excited.
He turned around and smiled at you
You walked onto set, they were filming in the Palmwoods lobby.
Scott grabbed a chair for you and you sat down where you were out of the way.
About fifteen minutes later the guys walked onto set.
They were goofing around, reading over there scripts, and getting final touches on their hair.
They started filming and the guys couldn’t seem to get there lines down, messing up and causing laughter amongst everyone in the room.
Their smiles lit up the room, the energy they brought to the set was incredible.
You stood up and walked over to the camera to get a closer look.
One of the camera guys whispered to you
Camera Guy- pretty cool huh?
You looked at him, smiled, and whispered
You- Yeah, this is insane.
Camera Guy- You’re the intern right?
You- Yeah, my name is (YN) by the way
Camera- Nice to meet you, i’m Jack, i’ll probably be seeing a lot of you now..
You smile at him
You- I hope so.
He smiled and turned back to the camera.
Logan messed up one of his lines and the guys started laughing and Carlos turned and saw you.
He stopped laughing and smiled.
You couldn’t help but smile and mouthed back
The director told them to get back to their places.
They continued the scene, until they finally got it down.
Scott- Alright, let’s see…… Erin and Logan! We’re going to film your scene at the pool, so for the rest of you we’ll call you when we need you.
Erin and Logan walked off set in one direction, while the rest of the guys walked in another direction towards their dressing rooms.
All except for Carlos, who was making his way towards you.
Carlos- So, was I good, or was I good?
He pointed his fingers at himself and smirked.
You- Eh… I don’t know..
Carlos- Oh, you think you could do better?
You- Well I don’t want to brag…
He laughed and you smiled at him.
Carlos- Where do you need to be?
You- Well, uh I should probably go wherever they’re filming..
You said gesturing to Scott.
Carlos- I have an even better idea, how about you come with me for a smoothie run.
He smiled at you, making you melt.
You- I would, but I should really go watch them.
Carlos- Ooooooooh, did I just get shut down?
You- No, no, I really would, I just don’t want to ruin my internship before it’s really started, ya know?
Carlos- No I get it, you don’t want to get smoothies with me, *starts fake sniffling* i’ll be okay, just give me a minute..
You start laughing and he can’t help but crack a smile.
You put your hand on his arm.
You- Do you want me to get fired?
He starts laughing and looks at you
Carlos- Let me take you out..
You hesitate for a second.
Carlos- Come on, you’re going to reject me two times in a row? Cold (YN)
He smiles at you
You- Carlos… I would love to go out with you.
Carlos- Wait… Really?
You- Yeah, you can show me L.A.
You give him a smile
Carlos- Uhm, yeah I would love that, how about dinner tonight?
it was Friday and you were dying to see L.A.
You- Yeah, I would like that..
Carlos- alright, well..
He pulls out his phone and hands it to you
Carlos- just put your number in my phone and i’ll text you..
You take his phone and put your number in.
You- Can’t wait.
You smile at him and start walking towards the other set, you turn your head around and he’s still standing there.
You can’t help but bite your lip than turn your head back around.
You got to the pool set and they were practicing your lines.
You stood by the camera again, but this time it was a lot harder to concentrate.
All you could think about was Carlos, and what tonight had in store for you.
The time seemed to drag on, going from set to set watching them film.
It was six o clock and time for you to finally leave.
You grabbed your things, and your phone out of your desk.
Carlos had texted you.
New Text Message
Hey, it’s Carlos :) I made reservations for 9 at Cicada, wear something nice ;)
You smiled as you looked down at your phone.
Sounds perfect :)
You hurried home so you would have enough time to get ready.
You re-did your makeup, curled your hair and put on a new dress that you’ve been dying to wear with a new pair of nude pumps.
You were nervous, butterflies taking a permanent inhabitance in your stomach.
You kept reminding yourself that he was just a normal person, but he wasn’t.
He was 1/4 of Big Time Rush, he was Carlos fucking Pena.
You tried to keep your mind from racing, but nothing seemed to work.
It was finally time to leave, you took one last look in the mirror, making sure everything was perfect.
You got in your car and drove to the restaurant.
When you arrive you get out as Valet takes your car and you see Carlos standing in the front.
He see’s you walk towards him and starts smiling.
Carlos- Wow, you look… uh, wow.
You start to blush as puts his hand on the small of your back.
Carlos- shall we?
You- we shall.
Carlos leads you into the restaurant and the hostess shows you to your table.
There was already a bottle of wine in a bucket of ice waiting.
You- wow, this is incredible..
Carlos- I wanted to take you someplace really fancy, like McDonalds, but they were all booked.
You both started laughing.
He poured you a glass of wine and you started talking.
Carlos- So New York huh?
You- Yeah well i’m originally from ( home city) but i’ve always wanted to live in the big city, so what better place than New York.
Carlos- Yeah I love it there, but I also love the ocean, I mean I grew up in Florida so I always need to be somewhere with a beach.
You continue to talk, he made you laugh more than anyone you’ve ever met.
Everything he said was just so charming.
You- Carlos, I just want you to know upfront that I’m not really looking for anything, I’m only here for the summer so I just want to have fun while i’m here, ya know?
You bit your tongue, trying not to babble on anymore.
He looked at you, but you couldn’t really make out how he was feeling.
Carlos- Uhm…. yeah no I totally understand , I mean i’m not really looking for uh anything serious either, with my schedule and stuff. No, that’s good, we’re on the same page.
You lick your top lip and smile at him
You filled both of your glasses up with wine and up picked yours up.
You- heres to a summer we’ll never forget.
Carlos smiles at you and picks up his glass.
CARLOS STORY PT. 3
You’re a couple weeks into your internship.
You and Carlos have been keeping it casual, dinner, movie nights at each others houses.
You liked the way it was, there were no feelings involved and you were having fun.
It was Saturday morning and you were sleeping in because it was on of the few days you could.
But than your phone goes off.
You rub your eyes and grab your phone off of the nightstand.
You- *groggily* Hello?
Carlos- are you sleeping?
He starts laughing
Carlos- Well, I am taking you to a club tonight?
You- yayyy *you say tiredly*
Carlos- I’ll pick you up at 10
You- Sounds good!
You both hung up and you put your phone down.
You were excited for tonight, you haven’t been to a club since you’ve been in LA.
And you were dying to dance.
You fell back asleep with a smile on your face.
When you woke up it was 1 in the afternoon.
You never usually slept in that late, but with all of the running around you did all week you were exhausted.
You had to convince yourself to get up and put on your workout clothes.
As you walked into the kitchen your roommate was pouring a cup of coffee.
You- Hey, do you want to come to yoga with me?
Emma- Yeah! When is it?
You- We should probably leave in like 20
You were really glad you and Emma got along.
She was a cool chick and she always made you laugh.
She also knew all about Carlos.
As you were driving to yoga you two were talking
You- So Carlos is taking me to a club tonight
Emma- No way?
You- Yeah, i’m really excited
Emma- Are you guys gonna do it afterwards?
You looked at her and she moved her eyebrows up and down with a smirk on her face.
You started laughing.
You- I don’t know, I mean we’re keeping things casual…. Do people do it in casual relationships?
Emma- (YN) I don’t even think you realize how many “casual” relationships i’ve been in. You guys are totally going to do it.
You both start laughing and you pull into the yoga studio.
All throughout yoga every time Emma and you would look at each other she would make some sort of sex gesture, which caused you both to try and quietly contain your laughs.
You- I’m never taking you to yoga again
you start laughing as you two walk out towards the car.
Emma- Please i’m a fucking riot, you love me.
you both laughed started laughing.
You got home and started to get ready, you took your time lounging around in your robe after your shower.
Contemplating what outfit would allow you the most movement.
You decided on your best looking skinny jeans, testing them out to make sure you were still able to get down.
A pair of pumps and a loose leather jacket and a purple flowy tank top underneath.
You curled your hair and put on some make up.
It was about 9 when you were all done getting ready.
You walk into the living room and Emma was sitting on the couch
She looked at you
Emma- DAMN, you are just begging to get some tonight.
You started laughing and put your hand on your hip
You- So do I look okay?
you smiled, but you were still nervous.
You pulled out a bottle of vodka and took a shot to try and calm your nerves.
You sat down on the couch and waited for Carlos.
Emma was watching something but you weren’t really paying attention.
You were concentrating more on whether what she said was really going to happen.
Was tonight the night you and Carlos were going to, you know.
Suddenly a ring at the door snapped you out of your thoughts
You looked at Emma and then got up and answered the door.
Carlos- Wow, (YN) you look.. beautiful.
You smiled, grabbed your purse and waved goodbye to Emma.
You- I’m really excited for tonight.
Carlos- Me too..
He looked over at you as you buckled your seat belt and smiled.
It took about thirty minutes to get to the club.
Conversation was filled with the guys, work, and music.
He parked outside of the club, opened your door and walked you to the front.
You walked up to the bouncer and he let you in, no questions.
You walked into the club and it was packed, the music was great and everything was crazy.
You- this is amazing!
Carlos- Yeah, the guys and I come here all the time.
You made your way through the crowd and got to the bar, you ordered a couple shots, took them down like champs, and made your way to the dance floor.
You and Carlos started dancing, you were kind of doing your own thing
Losing your self in the beat.
Carlos- Damn, you move girl.
You smiled at him and grabbed his hand, lifting it in the air running your body against his.
You could feel the alcohol making its way through your body as the shots starting coming.
You put your hand around Carlos’s neck and pulled him closer towards you.
Carlos- Do you want to get out of here?
You shook your head yes and he took your hand leading you through the crowd.
He called a cab and you sat on the curb till it arrived.
You could barely keep your hands off of each other in the car.
You finally made it back to his house, you ran to the front door and you both laughed as he tried to put the key in.
He finally opened the door and you pushed him up against the wall.
You started kissing passionately, he picked you up and carried you to his bedroom.
He laid you down and started kissing and biting your neck.
The last thing you remember was Carlos asking you if you were sure as he pulled the condom out of his nightstand drawer.
And you shaking your head yes.
CARLOS STORY PT. 4
You slowly started to open your eyes as the sun shined through the blinds in Carlos’s room.
You looked over at Carlos as he laid there, flawless, taking small shallow breathes.
You quietly got out of bed, you saw your bra and underwear scattered across the floor, informing you that yes.
You were completely naked in Carlos Penas room after a night of hot steamy sex.
You grabbed your clothes and quietly and started to get dressed.
You grabbed your shoes and pulled them on, you took one last look at Carlos as you walked out of the room.
You then remembered that Carlos drove you to the club, and took a taxi home.
You looked at your phone it was 1:43 in the afternoon, Emma had to be awake.
You: Hey, uhm would you be able to pick me up?
Emma: Well, In order for me to pick you up you need to tell me exactly where you are.
You could hear her trying not to laugh.
You: Shut up..
Emma: I’m sorry, what was that?
You: Emma! *you started laughing* Please..
Emma: What’s the address?
She started laughing as you gave her the address.
You sat on his couch waiting for Emma.
You stomach was in knots.
You didn’t want him to wake up because you were afraid of what he was going to say.
But at the same time you wanted him to wake up, because you wanted to know.
About 20 minutes later you got a text from Emma saying that she was there.
You took a deep breath, got up and waited a minute, trying to see if Carlos was going to wake up.
You quietly shut the door as you left, you made the walk of shame towards Emma’s car.
You got in and she had a smirk that screamed “I told you so”
You: I don’t know what you’re talking about
Emma: You guys so did it.
You looked at her and couldn’t help but laugh.
Emma: How was it?
You: Well….. i didn’t really remember a lot of it, but it was…….. amazing
Emma: How wasted were you?
You: Well, I’m pretty sure I asked him if he was going to put on his helmet..
Emma started laughing
Emma: Are you serious?
You: I’m pretty sure.
You both started laughing as you made your way back to your apartment.
You are exhausted, and immediately fall back asleep as soon as you get home.
You wake up around 6pm and check your phone.
You have 6 missed calls from Carlos and 3 new text messages.
New Text Message
Why did you leave?
Is everything okay?
Please call me.
You sighed and your stomach started to knot up in that familiar yet unwelcome feeling.
You hesitated as you pressed the call button.
Carlos: Hey is everything okay?
You: Yeah, sorry I didn’t want to wake you up this morning..
Carlos: Oh, well I mean you could have stayed..
You: Well.. I didn’t want to intrude..
Carlos: Oh, well i mean.. are we good?
You: Yeah! why wouldn’t we be?
Carlos: I don’t know after last night, we’re casual and i’ve never really done this before..
You: No, Carlos we’re good..
He let out a nervous laugh
You: Are you good?
Carlos: Yeah, no i’m good.
You: Okay, well then.. I will see you tomorrow.
Carlos: Yeah, i’ll uh see you tomorrow…. Bye (YN)
You: Bye Carlos..
You looked at your phone as he disconnected.
You didn’t know your emotions were doing at this point.
You were leaving back to New York in 7 weeks.
Relationships were messy, and people only get hurt.
Especially in long distance relationships.
You never really “fell” for guys.
He was a game changer.
CARLOS STORY PT. 5
You never realized you were in love with someone till it was too late.
It was the end of your internship, you were leaving for New York tomorrow.
The summer seemed to have flown by.
You and Carlos were good, but keeping things “Casual” seemed to get harder and harder.
You wanted to be with him, but you didn’t want to get hurt.
And neither did he.
He was taking you to dinner on the beach for your last night.
You were nervous, staring at your empty bedroom.
Staring at your packed suitcases.
Tears filling your eyes as the pit in your stomach seemed to get deeper, and deeper.
You looked in the mirror trying to contain yourself.
You heard the doorbell ring and your stomach dropped.
You walked to the door and opened it.
There he was, bright eyed and big smiled.
He took a look at you, taking it all in.
He let out a long breath.
Carlos- W-wow (YN) you look amazing
You looked down at yourself, then back to him smiling.
You- Thanks Carlos
Carlos- Shall we?
He said as he but out his arm, and you hooked your arm through his.
The car ride stayed pretty quite.
By the time you got the to resteraunt the sun was setting on the beach.
The orange clouds surrounding the big yellow ball resting behind the water.
He leads you to the table and orders a bottle of wine.
You look out at the water, tears filling your eyes but not wanting Carlos to know.
You continue to look at the sunset, the sound of his voice overwhelms you.
Carlos- look at me
He says softly
You look at him, biting your lip.
He reaches his hand across the table, you hesitate because your hand was clammy and shaky, but then took it.
Carlos- Trust me, I don’t want you leaving either..
You- I fell in love with this place, it just sucks.
Carlos- Well, we have tonight.. and you have me.
You managed to give him a weak smile.
You- I’m so glad I met you Carlos…
Carlos- And i’m glad I got the privilege to spend the most amazing summer of my life with you.
You wiped away your tears as quickly as you could.
Dinner was quite, but a good quite.
The silence wasn’t awkward, it good.
He said as he pointed his thumb towards the water.
You shook your head yes.
He stood up and took your hand and walked you down to the beach.
You both sat down as the sun finally made it’s way to the other side of the earth.
It was a clear night so you could see the stars perfectly.
Carlos laid down on the sand and patted on his chest you then rested your head on him.
He took your hand played with your fingers then slowly slipped his in between yours.
Carlos- Ugh, (YN) what am I going to do without you?
You- Don’t do that to me.
You laughed as you began to cry.
Carlos- It’s true, this summer was amazing (YN) and it was because of you.
You couldn’t control your tears at this point.
Carlos- I-I love you (YN)
Your stomach dropped.
You shot up.
Carlos- Oh my god..
He stood up as you did.
He looked at you and started to walk away, you ran up to him and grabbed his arm.
Carlos- Don’t pull that bullshit (YN)
You- Carlos, I thought we were cas-
Carlos- Casual my ass, you’re telling me after three months nothing, you don’t have one fucking feeling for me?
You- Carlos, I-I don’t know
Carlos- You know what, I wanted to make this work, but obviously this doesn’t mean shit to you. So i’m done, i’m fucking done (YN)
He tore his arm away from your grip and started to walk away.
You- Carlos please
You cried after him.
He half turned around and looked at you.
Carlos- you’re scared to admit that you love me too.
He let out a sigh..
Then walked away.
You want to scream his name.
But you were numb.
You just stood there, knees shaking and eyes watering. “C-Carlos…” you managed to breathe out. You said it again, and again, louder each time; but you know he would not come back. You stood there for what seemed like hours, until the tide started to rise and you felt the water at the tip of your toes. You were stranded, on the beach, in the pitch darkness, and without a ride. You stared out at the water and watched the tide hit your feet and fade away again. You knew you should probably start trying to find a way home, but you couldn’t move. You didn’t even know how you were still breathing. Finally, your feet were starting to get numb and you called Emma to pick you up. You didn’t even remember the ride home, but before you knew it you were cuddled up in your bed, staring at the blank wall.
There was nothing else for you to do except cry. You wanted so badly to just cry yourself to sleep, cry everything out, cry until you were empty and couldn’t feel anymore. Was Carlos right that you didn’t want to admit that you loved him back? Did you even love him, really truly love him? It had only been three months; people don’t fall in love that fast. It just wasn’t right. Why was it so hard for you to accept that someone loved you? As soon as he said the words, you winced and wished that he would take them back. But that wasn’t right either. You couldn’t fight with yourself any longer; it was draining you more than the crying. You shut your eyes so tight that it hurt, and waited for sleep.
You opened your eyes not a minute later and sun was streaming through your window. You slept longer than you thought you had and when you looked at your phone, you saw that it was 1pm and you had messages from Carlos, along with several missed calls.
Carlos: I’m so sorry; it should not have gone down like that at the beach. Call me.
Carlos: Please don’t shut me out, (YN), I need to apologize.
Carlos: I get it, I was an asshole. Just talk to me!
Carlos: I don’t want to leave things like this.
Carlos: If you don’t call me back, I’m coming over.
You were confused and angry, but you knew better than to reply to him. In your state of mind, you don’t know what kinds of things you’d say. You just put your phone down and rolled over, shoving your head under a pillow. You wanted more sleep but your body fought against you, and won. You threw the covers off you and sat cross-legged on your bed. The last thing you needed was more thinking time, but your thoughts would not shut the hell up. Then you were interrupted by a banging on the door.
“(YN)! Please talk to me!” you heard Carlos’s voice yell from outside your door.
You froze and your heart literally stopped beating for a few seconds. You heard the banging continue but you still sat frozen. You were completely torn on what to do. Then the banging stopped. Curious, you got off the bed and opened your bedroom door – only to be face-to-face with a breathless Carlos.
“Hi.” He said, still gasping for air.
“How did you get in here?” you asked quietly, trying not to meet his eyes.
“Front door was open.” You felt his eyes rake you up & down. “Nice outfit.” He chuckled.
You hadn’t even noticed what you were wearing and you were embarrassed to look down and find a pair of leopard print boy shorts peeking out from your high school sports sweatshirt. You tugged the sweater down and grabbed a pair of sweats from the floor, pulling them on quickly.
“Nothing I haven’t seen before.” Carlos mumbled.
“Why are you here, Carlos?” you asked, suddenly angry. His face fell and there was a long uncomfortable silence.
“To apologize. I didn’t mean to blow up on you last night.”
“Right, just like you didn’t mean to leave me stranded on the beach?”
“I’m sorry about that too…”
“Just like you didn’t mean to tell me you loved me?” you asked, finally meeting his eyes and seeing his expression turn from hurt to confusion to determination.
“No, (YN), actually I did mean that. See, I don’t get it. I thought it about it a million time last night. Why is it so damn hard for you to accept that someone loves you?” Carlos demanded, taking a step towards you. You stumbled backwards, knocking the back of your knees against your bed.
“Please, let me know. If I did something wrong…” he took another step towards you and leaned in, practically forcing you back on your bed. He hovered over you, with his lips just inches away from yours.
“I’m going to give you one more chance.” He whispered, his eyes piercing yours. “(YN), I love you.”
You were caught off guard, and it took everything to keep yourself from melting right there.
“Carlos…I-I can’t give you an answer right now.” You said, voice cracking. He sighed, and backed up, turning for the door.
“You just did.” He said as he walked out. You heard the front door slam and your tears poured like waterfalls. You felt your heart crack and clutched your chest, somehow thinking that you could just hold it together. You went to your window and threw back the curtains, watching as Carlos got in his car and drove away, without a second glance up at you. Then you felt your heart break just a little bit more.
The hardest part was waiting, but you didn’t even know what you were waiting for. He never called, or texted, or showed up at your house again. Emma stopped asking you about it; she didn’t want to make you feel even worse than you already did. You just wanted to see him. Yes, your heart was broken but you just needed to see him and talk. Finally you resorted to calling his best friends, but they all said the same thing. Today it was Logan that you interrogated.
“It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you in particular, he just doesn’t talk to anyone anymore. It’s obvious that he’s still really hurt. You broke his heart.” Logan said.
“Thanks, like I didn’t already know that.” You snapped back. “I’m sorry, just tell him I called again?” after you hung up, you truly felt defeated. You picked up a bagel and started twirling it in your hands. You didn’t even notice that Emma walked into the kitchen until she said something.
“I think I already know the answer but, are you okay?” she asked, taking the pastry from you.
“No. I’m miserable. I can’t stop thinking about him.” There was a silence and you started to feel your eyes well up with tears.
“But you let him go, (YN), I don’t understand how you’re so upset.” Emma said.
“Exactly, I let him go! I feel so stupid!” you ranted. “Carlos is amazing, perfect, the most perfect guy I’ve ever met and he treated me so well and was so sweet and I ran away and shut him out! I let the only thing I ever loved go!” Emma froze, and so did you.
“Wait, rewind.” She exclaimed.
“Oh my God. I love him. I really love him.” You whispered.
“Then what in the HELL are you still doing here?!” Emma yelled. “Go tell him, go now!!” She tossed you your keys and practically pushed you out the door.
“Oh God, what the hell am I doing right now?!” you asked yourself on the drive over to his apartment. You were panicking. 2 minutes ago you just realized that you were in love with Carlos. “Okay, okay, oh Jesus, what am I going to do? What do I say?”
You were frantic, pushing almost 60 in a 45 zone; you didn’t give a shit if cops were around or not. You finally pulled up to his place and sat in your car for a good 5 minutes. The butterflies were starting to take over. You got a nervous knot in the pit of your stomach.
“What am I even doing here?” you whimpered to yourself. This was the moment you were dreading. For someone who doesn’t open up easily, telling someone how you really feel about them can seem like life or death. After an internal battle you got out of the car. After another 10 minutes you walked up the front of the building. You paced back and forth for another 15 minutes before going upstairs, and after an endless 20 minutes you at last knocked on his door ever so lightly. There was no answer so you knocked a little bit louder. Then you heard footsteps coming to the door. You were thankful that there wasn’t a peephole, or he never would have answered.
“Hi.” You breathed out when his head appeared from around the door. He took one look at you and started to close the door, but you put your foot in to stop him. “Carlos, please listen to me.” He didn’t look at you, he just left the door open and walked further inside, so you followed and closed the door gently.
“What do you want?” he snapped. His tone caught you off guard, and you started to second guess your reasoning for being there.
“I wanted to talk.”
“About what, (YN)?” he snapped again. “Why-“
“I love you.” You blurted out.
“I-I’m sorry, what?!” Carlos asked with his jaw on the floor.
“Stop talking, it’s my turn to talk, okay? I’m in love you. Yeah it took me until today to realize it, but I love you. I know it’s too late and you hate me already but…I’m not good at this stuff. I don’t know how to communicate. I don’t show my emotions, and…I’m really scared, okay? I know I’m frustrating, and I know that I hurt you a lot, and I’m really really sorry, but I love you.” You looked up at Carlos through your watery eyes, to see he wasn’t mad anymore. “And that’s not going to make anything better but I can’t stop saying it, and oh great here come the waterworks, and I don’t know what I’m doing…”
Before you could finish, you felt a pair of lips crushed to yours, and a pair of strong hands wrap around your waist. You pulled away and were face to face with Carlos, him grinning back at you.
“Does that mean I’m forgiven?” you asked quietly. Carlos threw his head back with laughter and nodded, kissing you again and again. Then he pulled away and brushed a strand of hair out of your face.
“Could you just say it one more time?” he laughed. You threw yourself into him more with a giggle, but obliged.
“I love you, Carlos Pena.”